January 28, 2012

#MyCrazyDreams - Is it a premonition?

Since childhood we learn that dreams are not real and usually mean that parts of our memory, day and life come out jumbled in the form of a dream or what I believe is a type of premonition.

It is mind blowing how our memories can come out in an event that never happened during our life but when awaken the dream has a meaning.  This morning mine was a dream about everything that I have been writing about over the past month and a half regarding my previous employment.

An old school friend of mine, Linda is the name I will use, who is on my personal FaceBook account was in this dream.  This is because a few weeks ago she reassured me after my discharge that the reason probably would not stick as long a hearing was requested and I am to go through with.  In the dream she had an eighteen month old boy and we were going for cover because a flood was on the way, the Hudson River was actually going to flood over and we needed somewhere safe to go.

The place we chose to shield ourselves from the water was in the basement of 704 River Street, except in the dream the bottom floor was all glass windows that could be seen out of.  Upon asking Linda if it was safe she said yes because we where inside and the water would be outside.  When the flood finally came you could see the water rising above these windows that went all the way around the building we where in except the water was getting ready to rush in and when I asked her why the water was coming in anyways she responded that it was okay as long as our heads didn't go under we would be safe.

Linda than asked me to hold her child and keep him safe so that he wouldn't drown and agreeing we where trying to get higher in this underground tunnel except the water was coming in after all.  The water was slowly rising and we were trying to get higher and higher while at the same time I was holding her son up as high as possible.  My arms were getting tired and dropping down but I kept catching him and holding him over my head while we walked up this small hill made of a cement pathway and stood on our tipsy toes.  Of course that is where I awoken because if not that the dream would have been forgotten.

What it meant was that the water was my unemployment hearing, the eighteen month old boy was other employees that had been wronged by this employer in the past and of course as mentioned earlier in the story my friend Linda is the one who reassured me.  There is something that wants me to do right by those who did not put up a fight and are now stuck in a job like McDonalds or Pricechopper because the owner, Dick, did what he could to run them out for reasons of greed.

Something that occurred to me is why Dick does it the way he does and the timing.  If he can runs an employee out before the end of the next calender year when he claims unclaimed unemployment that the employee paid out for the prior year, when that employee is denied or does not fight it he gets to keep it.  First he has to get the employee to quit or be terminated for misconduct or anything else that is breaking the rules in terms of the company contract.

That means creating a situation that would make a female employee think that Dick is attracted to her.  This is done by accidentally sexually harassing by bumping into her from behind, in the dark, while having an erection.  Later he would appear to be showing up afterwards when she is going to the ladies room or on her breaks so that it may appear as if he is interested.  Than when she says or does something inappropriate that would be considered insubordination.

My fight is for those who did not know what to do about these types of situations and even if what was done cannot be proved at least if it does ever occur again that seed has been planted for future unprofessional, unfair treatment type of behaviours from Dick or any other manager.  A few times Dick commented to me that he could easily discharge me and find a replacement.  My thought is that New York State could also pull their contract and give it to a company that treats there employees with respect and dignity, not like a piece of crap because he owns the company.

January 27, 2012

#IamAngry because blue collar criminals get away with so much

If I where caught or even suspected of going into a courtroom and lying they would immediately throw the book at me.  Although, somebody with a fat wallet can go into an unemployment hearing with false documents, knowingly that, an example is, the math solutions are intentionally incorrect and nothing happens.  Nobody takes a second look at them because the Judge went to court for law not for math so why else would he doubt the businessman.

All records are lost in our legal system because it is so clogged up with court appearances, appeals and other issues.  We can only have confidence that innocent parties that do catch such fraudulent issues will know how to correctly report the problem.  This can  will at least open the eyes of the legal system so that when an identical issue comes across their desk again they will take a better look at it.

When the owner of FT, Dick, instructed the guy in the IT department, JK, to fix the excel spreadsheet so that when the numbers were entered they would come out incorrectly.  This is how they started producing my false production reports to me. At the time it never occurred to me that was what was going on due to the fact that at the time I had thought that Dick was a honest, upstanding business owner.  .  A month after my employment ended at FT is when it occur that there were situations were situations going on in terms of my production.  

A week before the date of my discharge from FT, I went to the EAP Representative Lori.  This was on the Friday before my "so called defiant behavior" with JM occurred.  When my production still hadn't been corrected it was the last straw and talking with Lori seemed like the right thing to do.  After the conversation with Lori I remembered one of the managers, Jared, running into the IT department's office and the following Monday my reports were corrected.  When Dick handed them to me though, I knew that the following Friday the numbers were much higher than what was reported.  Having an excellent memory, something that goes along with that is my ability to store numbers in my head and remember them.  Dick was so busy telling bitching about how I had no right to complain about my production reports being given to me incorrectly it didn't seem like any use to mention that the past Friday's numbers looked so low on the spreadsheet.  This was also when the realization that, even though the Marijuana incident started it but still being in denial, Dick was not a very good person.

The smart thing to do would have been quietly take the production reports and just let them discharge me for being unable to meet production requirements.  That would have made the unemployment hearing case a much easier fight.  The look on  Dick's face would have been golden in the courtroom but since I did put so much faith and trust in him, all that can be done now is hope that what was reported to the labor department is taken into account.  Just sending copies of pay stubs that have tax errors, bad production reports that are charging for lunches and breaks and extra health insurance costs taken out is enough proof to show that this is a person that will do anything to break the law.  This wasn't done the first time around and maybe that was my mistake but than again nothing said in my original statement was taken into account.

January 26, 2012

#struggling with #hate, #anger, #love and #remorse

Me being rapacious
Yesterday when the date for the unemployment hearing came in the post mail listing the parties from FT who are to appear at the hearing, I knew that a subpoena for those not listed was going to be necessary.  Knowing he reads this and by me stating who the three employees that are going to be requested to appear will stay hush.  Although, Dick probably knows who two of the three employees are, at least he probably has a good idea, the third one is going to be such a surprise.

It's such a struggle dealing with those feelings that have to be present while trying to get through this situation.  Letting go of those old feelings of admiration, whatever the crazy reason as to why they are still there is confusing, and trying not to to cave in is difficult.  Reminding myself over and over again about what Dick does to his employees out of greed and who he really is helps me to feel stable minded about the situation.

That rapacious feeling inside is not pleasant and wondering how Dick lives every day with personality trait is a mystery.  Personally feeling that way as of late, when I see myself in the mirror it is not attractive and it gives me somewhat of an idea as to how Dick sees himself when he looks in the mirror.  Reminding myself, I am strong, intelligent and beautiful inside helps because in less than two weeks facing my enemies is a big deal.

January 25, 2012

#IamPsychic, #IamAstalker or #IamObservant?

One of my sisters tells me she could swear that I am psychic because of the way my knowledge of things comes across to people.  Personally it appears to be more of an observant trait that was learned at an early age, like a survival technique to keep me safe from the many bullies, in school and at home.

One time my sister Anne was telling me that two of our sisters, Ruth and Susan were going out to dinner.  My comment was, "to the Sushi restaurant in Albany?"  Anne than, completely freaked out, said that she could swear I was listening to the telephone call she had with Susan just a few minutes prior to our conversation.  Explaining to Anne that it was just a common sense thing, Ruth was always telling talking about this wonderful Japanese Restaurant in Albany that we had to try out, Susan loves Sushi so it was just a simple thing to just put two and two together.

Some people who are not familiar with the correct medical term, Amblyopia, use the word "lazy eye" which is commonly but incorrectly used most of the time.  What this actually means is that my right side of my brain that tells my left eye to go and the left side of my brain that tells my right eye to go is not working at the same time the way it does for most people.  So the left eye works only when covering up the right eye, yet, the vision is very weak because of astigmatism.  Some treatments entail patching the good eye to get the bad eye to work but because of my astigmatism this did not work so cosmetic surgery was performed a the age of fourteen.

To make up for this disability my hearing is immaculate as well as my memory for sounds and smells.  one example is, while putting a Ethernet into a computer I may drop the screw but can hear where it landed and rolled and can nine-five percent of the time find it, pick it up and go back to fixing the PC.  Another example is upon hearing a voice just a few times will stay in my memory bank and all that person has to do is speak over the phone to me and if it is important on listening intently, I will go through my memory of voices to try to familiarize where their voice was heard at another time. 

An incident like this happened recently when somebody called me at home and pretended to be somebody they really weren't.  After a few hours of going over where I could have heard that male voice over the last few months it finally came to me.  Also, the fact that his business partner posted a picture of him on twitter later that night helped a great deal.

Admittedly at times it is tempting to abuse this little technique of mine by screwing with people but it also is just another way of personal protection.  So  few people may think #IamStalking them, others will think #IamPsychic and another small handful will say #IamObservant.  It is simply being observant, no there are no stalking issues going on and if being observant and psychic fall under the same category than now you know how the psychics do it.

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