January 29, 2012

The memory of my previous job is like removing a #MenstrualStain from my panties

OxiClean is supposed to be able to remove tough stains, even blood but it doesn't remove menstrual blood from your panties, that is a fact.

With the wonderment now that taking a position at FT was possibly a bad career move and maybe it should remove it from my resume.  A previous employee, Paul, who left there told me that he couldn't get over the anxiety of having worked there.  He made a comment in terms that the fifteen hours that he wasn't working at his new job he was thinking about FT and the horrible things they do there but still refused to say what it was.

FT made me ill, mentally, it isn't a joke or me being dramatic, it seriously leaves a bad taste in a person's mouth after being there.  When I had first heard about the rule about no socializing while working or you could get written up, thinking it was a crazy rule in the beginning of my employment with FT, I thought it made sense.  If you were not talking to each other, more work was getting done and the chance for office drama was less.

What never occurred to me was that paranoia creeps into your head and it was so intense when it happened.  The silence, except for the sound of keyboards clicking, now with Dick's sneaky behaviour and how he presented situations without it seeming like he was involved at all has a big hold on it.  For example, writing up a manager for something frivolous so that he/she would be angry and snappy all day at the other employees.  Having another manager make you move to another computer and telling me that they needed me to stay logged into mine for the day so that I felt like something was wrong or that they may be screwing with your work.  That is only a few things that is, unprofessionally, performed at FT and other, past and present,  employees who may be reading this would probably agree.  It became worse during the overtime, a person cannot work ten to twelve hours a day listening to the same music, over and over again, in complete silence.

Never feeling like that at home, yet, once stepping onto the bus and was quarter of a mile away from that building the paranoia left, only to return in full force at seven or eight the next morning, depending on which office it was.  Eventually came the sleepless nights and anxiety about what strange thing was going to happen at work the next day.  My friends and family thought paranoia was effecting me and suggested that I get counseling, until they started hearing the same stories from employees that worked there in the past as well.

Upon confronting Dick about the strangeness going on at FT, he only accused me of being paranoid but never made a serious effort in having me contact the E.A.P.  Dick never even indicated that it seemed to be a serious problem, not even suggesting that a possible medical leave was needed, which is supposed to be done under The Americans With Disabilities Act:Applying Performance And Conduct Standards To Employees With Disabilities.  When I did meet with the E.A.P. about the marijuana situation she did not even suggest medical leave as well, which right there indicates that nobody actually saw me as mentally unstable because these situations were not unheard of or uncommon at FT.

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